Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Caesar & The Psychologist

Anu Radha

The Madiwala Bus Stop was crowded. We waited for a little privacy, as we did not feel like moving elsewhere. The blood stains where thick and clotted, but was not really visible through my hair. But as it was my blood, I could feel it – just as I could feel her hand on mine. Both left a scar. 

Her name is Anu Radha. Like millions of her admirers, I call her Anu. 

“What did Sreejith say?” 

“That I need to consult a psychologist.” Head hurt and the clot prevented further blood flow. I knew I smelled of blood and mud. 

But Anu didn’t care. Her face was sad. “People might not recognize what you are capable of. But I know. I always knew…” She put hers arms around me. 

What was I capable of? – I did not know. But it sounded good. 

A passing couple frowned at us. The lady was in purdah. And the man wore a white cap. They were trying to make it very clear that Islam does not permit embracing in Bus Stops. May be its just about him. 

Priya

The Google Talk popped up the screen. I scrolled down and down to check who is online. I saw Priya. And when I mouse-hovered her name, the profile expanded to give me a glimpse of her snap. She was gorgeous. She wore a pink top and khaki trousers. This one was her typical side view pose. And she made sure that all her curves are visible so that the viewer is ready to jerk-off. 

“Hi” 

“Hei… Jubith. How are you?” 

“Doing good and how’s you?” 

“Great. LA is just as captivating as FL” 

“Oh. So u r in America” 

“Didn’t I tell you that…?” 

“No” (The last time I talked to her was from college – 4 years ago.) 

“Oh. Sorry. How’s Anu?” 

“She should be fine. We broke up.” (I made it sound as if it was just normal.)

 “Oh my; you ditched her?” 

“No.” 

“So she dumped you.” 

“No.” 

I was amazed at what America had done to Priya. If a relation broke, it was the guy who ditched. And he is a culprit. He had to pay for it. If it was the girl who left, She dumped him. She was not interested. He was bad. 

“Then what happened?” 

“Well…” 

Then I told her the story of a 4-year relation that broke up one Friday morning. At the end of the Story, I knew I was supposed to reach a conclusion. But I didn’t know what.

Gaia

The Caesar was slowly holding the strings of my senses. It slipped from my tongue to my stomach; only to stand up fierce & roaring with victory. I sat restlessly in the Bus from Chennai to Bangalore. Now Anu would come to conquer the Caesar. He would oblige and bend his head down and crown her as the Queen. And i did not have a choice but to grace it with tears running down my cheeks. 

From the day man started to worship Idols instead of the one true god, the theory of relativity evolved to the Relativity of memories - Just like I remember the sambar served at school whenever I hear songs of Ashiquie, despite the fact that 10 long years have passed, Just like we feel power when we see a Shiva Idol and peace when we worship Vishnu. 

The Relativity theory has its origin even before Caesar bowed down to Anu. When Anu was the fresh dew of a rainy night, when she was the breeze that blew the heat away, when she was the flower that bloomed, inviting the spring, when she was the green that reciprocated peace, power and prosperity. 

When she left me behind, she did not care about the vital bodies that would talk about relativity – That it would come back to conquer the Caesar. 

I had scars on my body – Scars, which lost its paint, which were bloody pale. I did not want to cry. 

The mobile is the first thing I get hold of when I think about connectivity in spite of relativity. I scrolled down the numbers. I was stuck at one name. Gaia - The Airhostess friend of Anu. I had met her only once. Kingfischer couldn’t spell her name. So she trimmed her name from Gayatri to Gaia. 

I wanted to talk to a person who had no prejudice on what I might reach at. Gaia must be just that. I hardly knew her. 

I am using Anu’s old mobile phone and she had all her contacts in it. I would end up lying about how I got Gaia’s number. 

Gaia took the call.

“Hello. My name is Jubith. And I would like to know if I really know you. Your number was there in my contact list.” 

“Hei Jubith. I am Gaia. You don’t remember me?” 

“Gaia? You are Anu’s friend, right?” 

“Yeah” 

“Oh cool. Sorry to have called you up at night. How are you doing by the way?” 

“I am good. How’s Anu? It’s been almost 2 months I contacted her last.” 

“She should be fine. As she is getting married the fall of December, she should be really fine.”

I could hear my voice tremble. 

Gaia obviously sensed something is wrong.

“Is she not getting married to you?” 

“No.” 

“Oh…” 

“We will talk sometime later Gaia. I’m caught up with something. Is that ok?”

That was a lie and I did not want her to think that I am a Snuggy baby weeping over pissing in the diapers. 

“Ok. Take care.” 

I got the urge to call her back as soon as I kept the phone. Now that I don’t have a reason to, I was left in the bus thinking. The bus halted at a petrol pump. And those of us who wanted some fresh air in and some exhaust out, got out of the bus. 

I took the phone again. This time I would try to SMS – I really wanted to talk to Gaia or someone for that matter. 

I think I want to talk to you. Can I call you up? 

Yeah. Sure. 

I felt relieved. I called Gaia. And then I spoke of Caesar’s war which was lost and the theory of relativity. I talked to her about the sea, moon and the stars that were beautiful with Anu. I spoke about the Dust and the Carbon that’s filling the air when I am alone. I talked to her about the Vital Bodies that haunt me everyday. And I was glad she listened to all those. Even told me a few Airline stories. I was glad I made a friend. 

Saraswathi

The birds in the cage were pleading for freedom. But they were supposed to keep quiet and provide the feel of the nature to her living room. She is Saraswathi. Unlike the goddess, she believed in caging those & them, which would provide her with all the earthly pleasures. This time it was I. 

The phone rang. I was amazed to read Anu Calling. Saraswathi’s hair strands went in my nose and I gasped for breath. 

“Hello” 

“Anu here.” 

“I know” 

“But there are things that you don’t know – that people are smarter than you think” 

I was confused. 

“Did you call Gaia?” 

“Yeah. I did” 

“Y?” 

“I felt like calling.” 

“Like you feel like going to restroom. Don’t you have common sense to understand that she would definitely call me up? That she is my friend and not yours” 

Saraswathi’s huge thighs fell on mine and my flesh went week. I pushed her away. I was getting frustrated. 

“Yeah. I thought of it. But what is wrong in that? I did nothing to insult you or our relation.” 

“Our relation. Huh! Gaia told me that I made the right choice when I left you. And I am proud I did that.” 

I did not answer that. I wanted Caesar. 

“She also told me that you are such an abnormal person that you need some counseling. Maybe a psychologist… And I think she is right.” 

I smelled of blood and mud. Saraswathi’s living room was now more of the Madiwala Bus Stop. 

“She said no girl in her senses would ever marry you. And I know she’s right.” 

I looked at Saraswathi. She looked concerned and tried to smile and keep me at ease. 

“Why don’t you just get out of my life than playing a stupid Devdas?” She banged the phone. 

I kept the phone away. I felt a cold breeze on my head and cheeks. Saraswathi was all around me now. 

“Was it Anu?” 

“Yeah.” 

“What does she want?” 

“She wants me to meet a psychologist” 

“Hmm... Don't worry. She might not know what you were capable of. But I know. I always knew…” 

I smiled and I realised what I was really capable of. 

We made love.

Caesar

Chennai weather is hot even in winter. And the nights would go crazy if you don’t have an air conditioner but you still prefer to sit at home. 

We have a wide Terrace that we could always rely on. And the nature provided us the necessary cover with a few trees all around the place. 

I am sitting with Siby, my only roommate and the lead actor in the first film I am making. He was filling the glasses, Opening food packets and setting the table on the open Terrace. 

We switched on from Mc Dowell’s Brandy to Caesar Brandy after we moved to Chennai. And since then, Caesar has always been there. 

“In the 14th scene, the one which has Niharika breaking up with Aadhityan, I would like to add a dialogue.”

 “What is that?”

 “That Aadhityan was abnormal and that’s why Niharika chose to leave him behind. And yes, he needs to consult a psychologist.” 

Siby laughed aloud. Put his hands up and gave me a Hi-fi. That was our version of saying aye. 

We said Cheers and sipped the first peg. 

“Caesar is an honorable man.” 

“Yes. He is” 

35 comments:

  1. Awesome post my dear friend... The theory of Relativity is now understandable to the common man... Everyone in this planet will relate an incident in their life with another...

    The mind of the woman is the most complex thing in the world.. But while reading this I am able to relate to one or the other women that have come into my life... Either Saraswathi, Gaia, or the typically typical woman "Anu."

    Looking forward to more blogs from you... All the best..

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  2. Love is something that should be given and not to be expected.... And there is no point in suppressing your feelings... Let them flow out... Thats what I believe and I can clearly see that in your writing...

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  3. da...
    There is no point in writing down your feelings just as it is. There has to be more imagination. May be a bigger canvas..
    Let the whole idea stay in your mind for some time, let it grow feeding on your creativity..Let this be a place where u can let your creativity run wild,feeding on u're feelings and emotions!!

    Vallom manassilayaade.....??

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  5. I admire your capability to say its just feelings as it is. Well, if it is, thats what i call creativity. It revolves around feelings, observations and Interpretations of what Life is. But thanks for reading.

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  6. hi jubith,
    I see some potential in making a few as short films.
    i suggest you to bring in more human interaction with a blend of expentancy and unexpectancy. this way, you can make your stories more life like, than make it look stage-managed.
    btw, this is a good start. way to go:)

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  7. kollameda.. let all ur feelings come out.. it will make u only better.. life is to rock on buddy... 3 cheers to ur Ceaser pakshe nammal Bangalor teams eppolum military rum'il thanayaanu :-)

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  8. This really sounds good...Caesar is an honorable man...i really admire ur ability to interpret the things

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  9. dude was it you or caesar who did the writing.that was exceptionally gripping.go ahead mate let it out.

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  10. Salute to Caesar!

    Nice post dear! keep on posting....

    There will be pain on each creation. So let it pain you more and more....

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  11. hey da...

    nicely written, even though I did not understand much! It was kinda out of my league!

    Keep writing, may be at some point of time I will be able to understand these...! :-)

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  12. Jubith,
    please tell me that you started blogging since i reminded u recently..just kidding:)

    anyway, great start and i enjoyed it.
    certainly i would follow ur blog.
    best wishes!

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  13. Three cheers to Caesar, Hip Hip Hurray... Hip Hip Hurray... Hip Hip Hurray...

    So that was a small step for Jubi,,expecting giant leaps soooooon.....

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  14. Hey, dude.

    Great to see you in the blogosphere.

    :)

    Nice post. Keep writing.

    Randu Ceaser eduthu veesh. Ellam sheriyaavum.

    :D

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  15. Really a good leap to begin with ,long way to go bro..I guess in every one's life there might have been an anu,priya,gaia ,sarswati or some other names and names never mattered to anyone but you can always relate to the person you have met in your life ...and with girls the more you try to understand them the more confusing it becomes .And with relations ,always relations ends badly else it wouldn't have ended ... The only one dependable is the honorable Caesar ,who never helps us to understand the womankind or the theory of relativity but helps to forget everything !!!!

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  16. good one machambi.. Lage Raho..!

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  17. Hammy.. Thanks for the nit-picks that you had send me by mail. I have included them all. :)

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  18. Maybe you should start working on a short film
    The frames gonna be artistic- I'm sure!

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  19. nicely written n well composed...liked da way u interpreted ur imagination/feelings n created different moods yet how they linked wid each other..as how u call as theory of relativity... but it took a while for me to understand da whole theory as well..;)but as a whole i loved da way u ve put across ur thoughts into words...:)

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  20. Good one da .... and this is the first blog that i read till the end ..... Keep it going mate :)

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  21. dei....
    When u're interpretations and observations are expressed through a medium you can push your limits. I want you to do that... Having seen u as a person I am pretty sure that u can "interpret" things better.. I am not here to tell how good u are, want to tell you how good u could be!!!

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  22. Actually i din understand it completely...mght b i chose the wrong tym to read it...but me bein talli does nt stop me from realizin hw capable u r...!!! bcoz itz so bloody brilliant..dude..!!!

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  23. The roaring mind and the flowing wine in the moonlit nite, dusty, humid and blah blah and blah and the girlz... cool ....

    Caesar will bring the best in u....
    Cheerio

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  24. @ Dony:
    Thanks. Definitely it was your idea. :)

    @ Dreamer and EyeThoughts:
    I wont let you down if my film ever gets framed and further, released.

    @Uno:
    Thanks.

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  25. Good post!!The first blog that i have ever read thrice..

    Nice Work..Keep Going.. Best Wishes!
    :-)

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  26. Good work pal....i can see tat ur working hard on these....and i see a future in u...carry on...expecting more & assuring u full support....

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  27. gud one buddy ... keep writing ....

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  28. good one mate....there is something about Ashiqui's songs, not to forget Saudagar's ILU ILU...they still bring memories and yes,the smell of sambar in school mess...

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  29. Hero of the movie is Caesar....plz make one more with MCB.... and this also must be inspired frm a true story... ;-)

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  30. Looking forward to more blogs Jubith.

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  31. nice post
    shall i hope that next one will be 'YELLOW'

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  32. Id like to say somtn abt the Theory of relativity. We all have this affection for songs that we'v heard as children. I believe that its because wen we hear those songs now, it reminds us of(or relates us to)the state of mind we had then. The state of mind we had as children had freedom. What changes as we supposedly mature? Simply put, we realize right from wrong. But our "system" compels us to "wrong" to stay "in" the system. And continuing to wrong, accumulates guilt whether you know it or not. I can say that with confidence because conscience does not vary from people to people, just what they chose to do after listening to their conscience varies. And this accumulated guilt decides our character. We lose the freedom we had as children wen we see our system as God. Most of us are too scared to disobey our fake God. This might sound as a cliche to those who havent felt God. But having the courage to do wat God has asked us to do, returns us freedom. I can never relate with religious hypocrites for the same reason. They make following Gods wish a cliche.

    ps. yes, when i say that we should follow God's wish, it includes showing your other cheek when someone slaps you and every other thing which God said which might sound extreme(but is not actually).

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